Mama

I spent a large part of yesterday with my mom. Since my dad died last month, I have felt the need to spend a lot of time with her, not for her but for me. My mom is doing great adjusting to life without Daddy. I think she might be in the same stage of grief I am, exhausted relief that his struggle is over. I can't yet think back to the MEMORY making moments I shared with him. I can only remember how hard it has been the last two years, especially the last 4-5 months. And yesterday I was struck with how much my mom and I are alike. When we drove up in the yard she had her hands on her hips, communicating in a way I know I use. I think like her. I have fits like her. OK, maybe I should say I am energized like she is. I rush off and do crazy things, like leaving people at a party (: I am bossy like her, opinionated and unrestrained at times. I love my mom and that love for her has made it easy for me to love myself. And maybe it made it easier for my dad to love me too, because I was so much like her. Of course, my mom drives me crazy at times, but usually the things I don't like about her are really things I don't like about myself. So the love/loathe thing works both ways. My mom is awesome. I am proud of her and lucky that she is my mama.